On wearing glasses

“And as soon as I had recognized the taste of the piece of madeleine soaked in her decoction of lime-blossom which my aunt used to give me…the whole of Combray and its surroundings, taking shape and solidity, sprang into being, town and gardens alike, from my cup of tea.”

Concluding the famous overture to Proust’s seven-volume, 3,000-page novel À la recherche du temps perdu, the passage above recounts the moment in which the narrator, after tasting a piece of tisane-soaked madeleine, is transported back to his childhood life in the (semi-)fictional village of Combray. The remarkable thing about this passage is Proust’s astonishingly synesthetic description of how memory works, his evocative illustration of how physical sensations, smells, and tastes can trigger markedly vivid recollections of past experiences.

I thought about Proust’s novel this weekend as I tried on glasses again for the first time in three weeks. I mentioned in a recent post that I did not want to go back to wearing the full-strength glasses (-6.25, with -1.00 diopter cylinder) that I had been using for driving, or even the reduced pair (-4.75, with -0.50 diopter cylinder) that I had been using for computer work. So I tried on several other reduced pairs, which variously gave me headaches, induced my eyes to water uncontrollably, or made me dizzy—all experiences I’ve had before when I’ve tried to find a suitable pair of reduced glasses. Worried that I had become some kind of optometric Goldilocks on whom no prescription would be “just right,” I looked up my prescription history and found that I had been prescribed a pair of -4.25 DS lenses, with no astigmatism correction, when I was sixteen. I had actually ordered a pair of glasses with that same prescription from Zenni Optical several months ago, so I tried them on and found that they felt better than the others. I’ve been wearing them since for computer work.

I’ve written before about how my eyes seem to feel at ease only with prescriptions I’ve worn at earlier points in my life. But I now think that this tendency goes deeper than some symbiotic relationship that may have emerged over time between eye and corrective lens (and for what it’s worth, I don’t think Bates teachers have adequately sought to understand how the physiological development of the eye is affected when the growing child is wearing glasses from prepubescence onwards). I quoted Proust above because I’ve actually been having vivid flashbacks to my life as a teenager since I started wearing these glasses. This has made me wonder about how old prescriptions can themselves kindle old memories or old “ways of seeing,” and it’s led me to locate some of the many passages from Dr. Bates’ writings in which he discusses the role of memory in improving vision. I plan to write more about these passages over the coming weeks. But if the goal of natural vision improvement is to teach the eyes to see as they used to see, this undertaking inevitably has psychological as well as physiological effects.

I’m gratified to find that I can now see almost as well with the -4.25 glasses as I could with the -4.75 -0.50 pair I had formerly been using for computer work. I’m also happy to find that my eyes have finally begun to adjust to going without an astigmatism correction. This had been a major problem for me several months ago. Finally, using the computer is definitely easier with glasses; my posture is much better now that I can see the screen clearly without needing to crane forward. But I’ve been sticking to my commitment to wear glasses only when I really need them. I even went to a Halloween party on Friday night without them!

No more cold turkey

It will be three weeks tomorrow since I last wore my glasses. In that time, I’ve learned an awful lot about my eyesight, about the Bates method, and about what wearing glasses does to our sense of “normal” vision and unfettered movement. However, I plan to begin using glasses again tomorrow whenever I need to see. “Need” is obviously a subjective term that creates a slippery slope toward wearing glasses as a default, so to guard against this, I will only wear glasses in situations where not doing so would (a) endanger my own safety and that of others; or (b) cause a level of strain or discomfort that arguably outweighs the positive benefits of going without lenses.

An obvious example of (a) would be driving. I haven’t driven at all for three weeks, and although my other half and various friends have been wonderful in ferrying me around, I need to be more responsible, autonomous, and independent in getting places on my own. And an example of (b) is computer use. Constantly craning forward and down to see my laptop screen has created cumulative strain in my shoulders and neck, and while I’ve benefitted somewhat by reading about workplace ergonomics, I believe that only better posture from seeing the screen at a more tolerable distance will help me maintain relaxation in this crucial part of my body.

I don’t plan to wear my full-strength glasses ever again, especially after discovering that I can actually see 20/10 through them! From the many pairs I ordered from Zenni, I will select a pair that correct me to 20/30, which is the legal required standard for driving in Ireland. For computer use, I will use glasses that let me see the screen without craning forward, but that also don’t let me see everything well all at once. This is crucial, I believe, to improving vision.

One should never wear glasses that give the illusions of uniform crispness or all-encompassing clarity; such lenses only encourage staring by removing the need for the eye to shift naturally over what it is looking at. When people faithfully follow a regimen of regular eye exams and regular changes in prescription to maintain this illusion of visual sharpness, they often find that their eyes continue to get worse over time. I’m not suggesting that people should renounce regular eye exams, since optometrists can play a vital preventative role in spotting cataracts, glaucoma, and other eye diseases, but one should always think twice before increasing the strength of one’s prescription. I only wish I’d known this when I was in my teens.

Now that I have gone without glasses for three weeks, I want to maintain this as my normative state. The past weeks have taught me how to arrange my work and my time so that I can spend very long periods without glasses; they have also given me the confidence to go out in public, and to mingle in social situations, without feeling the need to wear corrective lenses. I’m guessing that I can still manage without glasses 80 to 90 percent of the time, and I hope that my visual acuity will soon improve to the point where I can read the computer screen at a normal sitting distance, at which point I would only need glasses for driving—until such time as I no longer need them at all!

Snellen work

In his book Perfect Sight Without Glasses, Dr. Bates writes:

It is absolutely necessary that the glasses be discarded. No half-way measures can be tolerated, if a cure is desired. Do not attempt to wear weaker glasses, and do not wear glasses for emergencies. Persons who are unable to do without glasses for all purposes are not likely to be able to cure themselves.

Children and adults who have worn glasses will have to devote an hour or longer every day to practice with the test card and the balance of their time to practice on other objects. It will be well for such patients to have two test cards, one to be used at the near-point, where it can be seen best, and the other at ten or twenty feet. The patient will find it a great help to shift from the near card to the distant one, as the unconscious memory of the letters seen at the near-point helps to bring out those seen at the distance.

I become more cognizant every day of the truth of Dr. Bates’ writings. I realize that just as I delayed for several months before discarding my glasses (which I now haven’t worn in two and a half weeks), I have also put off spending time working with the Snellen chart each day, and that this is detrimental to my progress. My Bates routine thus far has consisted of palming and long swings, both of which I love, but I need to be more consciously aware of developing good visual habits through shifting and swinging. So I am now committing to spending at least an hour a day working with my chart to improve my shifting and central fixation.

I did have a small breakthrough today while reading. I held my book further from my eyes, noting my feelings of anxiety as the text became fuzzier. When I reached the point where I believed I could no longer see the text, I relaxed my eyes and mind, and began to pick out individual letters from the blur. Before long, I realized that I actually could read at that distance if I was willing to go very slowly; I just couldn’t see all the text all at once. A core point of Bates’ teachings is that you should always see the object regarded best. When you are seeing everything well all at once, you are actually diffusing and straining. So this is my new reading technique—and I actually find it quite relaxing and comforting, especially since it lets me focus more on the individual words a writer is using.

Extended palming

On Saturday, I finally got around to doing two palming sessions of four hours each, with a one-hour break in between. This is one of the most beneficial things I have done since I began the Bates method.

I did my palming at my kitchen table, from 8 a.m. until noon, and from 1 p.m. until 5 p.m. To avoid disturbances, I turned my cell phone off, left my land line phone off the hook, and left a note on the door telling potential visitors that I would be out for the day (I live in Ireland, where people are persistent in their gregarious sociability!). I placed a pillow under my elbows, and set a digital alarm clock to let me know when the four hours sessions were up. 

I then palmed as normal, letting myself focus on my breathing, and on imagining the darkness of my cupped hands growing blacker and blacker as all the muscles around my eyes relaxed. After what I’m guessing was about two hours, I feel like I reached a breakthrough in relaxation; everything did indeed go very black, and I felt as if I were floating. The time seemed to pass so quickly from then on; I was surprised to hear the alarm clock go off at noon.

Opening my eyes, I gradually let them become accustomed to the light, and then looked around, taking care not to strain or stare. Although my visual acuity did not seem to have changed, I felt that my eyes were moving much more naturally, shifting almost by themselves without my conscious effort, and that colors had become brighter and richer. I also noted that I felt very deeply mentally relaxed. I then had some lunch, went for a short walk, and came home for the second session.

My 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. palming was similar to the morning session, with the exception that my eyes several times began to move very rapidly from side to side, without my doing anything either to induce this sensation or to prevent it. I am guessing that this may be the “rapid eye movement” that we normally experience while asleep, except that I wasn’t asleep! It is a very odd feeling. At 5 p.m., I again opened my eyes, and again experienced a deeper visual richness and mental relaxation.

If someone had asked me on Friday whether my eyes were strained, I would have said “no.” But the change from Friday night to Saturday night was actually quite profound, making me aware that we can become so habituated to eyestrain that we are no longer aware of it. My eyes continued to be extremely relaxed until Sunday morning, when I felt them tensing up again; and so I did another hour’s palming then to re-induce some of Saturday’s feeling of relaxed calm. 

Last night, amidst a stormy and rainy night, my other half and I lost power in our cottage around 9 p.m. This happens fairly often in rural Ireland, so we lit candles, made a fire, boiled water on our little “emergency” gas camping stove, and sipped hot tea while keeping warm under a duvet. The softness of the candlelight and the firelight helped my eyes, I think, because they hardly felt at all strained when I got up this morning.

I do feel as if I see the Snellen slightly better today! So all in all, it was a good NVI weekend. But a question for others; when you say you can “see” a particular line on your chart, do you mean “see very clearly,” “see somewhat clearly,” or “can just make it out”?

Two weeks

Two weeks today since I last wore my glasses! Ill with a stomach bug earlier this week, I found that I wanted my glasses more than normal while feeling unwell. I even had moments when I just wanted to give up on the whole enterprise! I’m feeling better now, though, and I’m happily carrying on without glasses. No more clear flashes, alas, but I continue to palm and swing a lot throughout the day, and am finding that I notice movement a lot more than I used to. And tomorrow I will be doing the two four-hour palming sessions I had planned for Wednesday.

The only negative symptom I’ve noticed from my experience is stiffness in my shoulders and neck from constantly craning forward to see the computer screen. And I must admit that I do miss driving. Fortunately, my American other half, who previously could drive only automatic transmission vehicles, is now taking lessons on a standard transmission (which almost all cars in Ireland have). She has her Irish learner’s permit now (U.S. driving licenses are not recognized in Ireland) and she’s planning to take the Irish driving test when she becomes more comfortable with using the clutch and manual transmision. In the meantime, she is willing to do any necessary driving for both of us, for which I’m tremendously grateful. I do miss the independence and autonomy that comes with driving myself—and yet I tell myself that this will be worth it in the end!

Gordon Brown

The Telegraph reports today on British prime minister Gordon Brown’s eyesight. Left blind in one eye after a rugby accident when he was sixteen, Mr. Brown has been suffering increasing problems with his other eye, from which he recently had a cataract removed. More:

Insiders also revealed that Mr Brown’s memos are in huge print and triple spaced while his own handwriting is getting larger. One senior official said: “If I want him to reply to an email, I always make sure it’s in at least 36 point.” That is five times as large as standard print size.

There is mounting anecdotal evidence that Mr Brown is battling a serious disability. As this newspaper revealed last month, the Prime Minister has been daubing black ink all over the Commons’ dispatch box during Prime Ministers’ Questions.

Aides have now also revealed that at the Labour spring conference the Prime Minister took a wrong turn off the stage and failed to find the exit.

When he was about to meet a line-up of war veterans recently, the former minister John Reid had to be moved out of the way because Gordon “would have confused him with a veteran”, according to one aide.

“You can’t understand Gordon if you don’t understand his fear that he could go blind at any moment,’ one friend said. “In public Gordon puts on a heroic performance, but there is always a cost.”

The revelations may be an attempt by Number Ten to explain to the public why the Prime Minister appears to stare blankly and awkwardly sometimes. The apparently frozen expression on his face and forced looking smile has been one of his biggest disadvantages in connecting with the public.

Mr. Brown has indeed been criticized in the British media for lacking the convivial and congenial qualities of his predecessor, Tony Blair. I must admit that I did not know about his eyesight problems before reading this article, but it gives me a different view of what he must be going through. I wonder whether the Bates method could help him at all?

Engineering Bates

With research on the human genome increasingly suggesting that myopia has a genetic component, and with sisters Sorrisi and Sassy both having had remarkable results with the Bates method over the past year, I asked Sorrisi whether she thought the sisters’ ability to reverse their myopia naturally might itself be related to their close genetic tie. Although she doubts that genetics is a determining factor per se, her response about commonalities between her and her sister that may have led to their success is fascinating. I hope she won’t mind my quoting part of it here:

As far as our predisposition to learning the Bates method, I think this came from an environmental factor of our childhood as well. We were taught to be openminded and to learn quickly. We are also both engineers, which I think helps us to understand Bates’s oftentimes technical writing style. While many people are put off by his writing style, it speaks directly to us for whatever reason. Does that make sense? Basically I think our similar background has enabled us to similarly understand and implement the method. I think many people practice without success for a long time because they don’t want to change deep down. Gaining self awareness isn’t always easy emotionally, and many people also don’t understand that this isn’t something one practices, but something that is learned.

It stands to reason that engineers would make perfect students of the Bates method. They understand how to translate theoretical abstractions into physical outcomes; they also understand that if something is documented and proven in principle, then it more than likely will work in fact, if the application is correct.

Reading around on the Internet, I’ve come across many practitioners of natural vision improvement who seem to regard Dr. William Bates as a guru or a swami, and view his method of natural vision improvement as a creed that must somehow be believed before it can work. I’ve come across people hostile to Bates who assume that his teachings are a form of New Age quackery that exploits people’s credulousness and naiveté. But Dr. Bates was in fact a scientist and a doctor, and his ideas, while unconventional both in his own time and in our own, are based entirely on his clinical observations of patients’ experiences.

Because of this, one has to dispense with skepticism and with pseudo–scriptural reverence, and approach the Bates method as an engineer would, confident that proven theories, if properly understood and applied intentionally to one’s own visual habits, will eventually translate into improved acuity and a different “way of seeing.” At least that’s how I increasingly understand it, and this attempt to view Bates’ teachings scientifically gives me greater patience with his method than I have previously had. All this might seem obvious to most, but it wasn’t to me, at least at first!

Strange night

What an odd night. I’m still feeling the effects of a stomach bug I contracted a couple of days ago: I’m still quite nauseous (I haven’t had anything but fluids since Tuesday) and I’ve also felt quite feverish throughout the night. Even more strangely, my eyes felt remarkably strained when I got up this morning; they were bloodshot when I looked in the mirror, and they are still quite tense and uncomfortable after some early-morning swinging and palming. I really want to wear glasses right now! But that’s why I’m posting on this blog; I want to remind myself that going without glasses is essential to the Bates method, and that I need to be rational when I feel the urge to put them on. I don’t need to be wearing glasses right now; I have functioned quite well without them for nearly two weeks. I only want the illusion of clarity because I am feeling tired, sick, and vulnerable! So I will focus on getting well, while keeping my glasses off.

Palming postponed!

I wrote yesterday that I’d planned on doing some extended palming sessions today; but that was before I came down with a stomach bug that kept me up all night. Believe me, dear readers, you do not want to know the details! I’m still feeling rather nauseous and queasy today, and although I think the worst is over, I don’t think it’s the best of days to try extended palming. But I do want to do this very soon—maybe over the weekend, if all goes well.

I’m very tired today, and my vision feels worse than usual. I’m still without glasses, although I do have more of an urge to put them on today. Maybe we need them more when we’re feeling emotionally or physically vulnerable?

20/200!

I have continued to go without glasses, and have also been spending about two hours a day palming, swinging, and “shifting” letters on my Snellen chart, all while standing quite close to it. Ordinarily I can’t see any of the letters on the chart from 20 feet away, and often struggle even to see the 20/200 line from 10 feet—but while making a cup of coffee early this morning, shortly after getting out of bed, I turned around, and the large “E” at the top became clear enough to be discernible, just for a second or so. I was so surprised that I almost couldn’t believe I’d seen it! The letter quickly went back to being blurred again. I later measured the distance from where I was standing to the chart, and it was 18 feet—but the “E” was so clear that I’m sure I could have still seen it from two feet further back. So this is my first glimpse of the 20/200 line, and it is also my first positive indication that I am getting somewhere! This might seem quite unexceptional to those who have managed to “clear” their vision to see much smaller letters on the Snellen, but it is my first real “breakthrough,” and so I am very happy this afternoon. I think this moment of clarity may have come because I was rotating as I started to become aware of the letter, and so the “E” was passing through my field of vision.

In a previous post, I mentioned my desire to do some extended palming sessions. I am free tomorrow, so I plan to try it then. I believe that Dr. Bates documented the case of a man who palmed for twenty-four hours straight, and greatly improved his visual acuity by doing so, but I’m not going to try to replicate that feat just yet. To begin with, I am going to attempt two four-hour sessions in one day, with an hour’s break in between. I will post afterward about my experiences!